YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
