I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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