P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
