I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
