i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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