If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
