Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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