Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
