I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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