no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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