I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
