I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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