Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
