Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
