i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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