Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize