we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize