Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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