I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
