i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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