What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
