THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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