its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
