I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
