No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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