I take back everything I said about communal showers
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
