yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize