It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
please don't ironically join a cult
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