i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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