youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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