He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
