Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
