what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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