The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
