Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
