David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
