he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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