being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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