just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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