I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
