brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
