Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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