my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
