everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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