i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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