Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
