I wish my penis had an off switch
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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