I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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