Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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