I must be too annoying 4 u.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
