I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
