Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"

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(607): View more from New York

i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?

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(217): View more from Illinois

Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights

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(256): View more from Alabama

just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level

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(210): View more from Texas

If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great

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(347): View more from New York

Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.

(718): View more from New York

Truth. Respect the hustle.

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(516): View more from New York

She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.

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