pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
