My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
