Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Found your dick twin last night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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