Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
