hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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