whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
