I wish I only lived at night.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
