Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Couch. On fire.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
