whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
