Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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