I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
