Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
