You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
