I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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