You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
