I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
