So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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